Wednesday, August 18, 2010

That Damn Polyjuice Potion

You know, I've been thinking about it, and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is extremely unrealistic.

There's just no way that Barty Crouch kid could have been able to impersonate mad Eye well enough to fool Dumbledore. And as an author, that's a pretty shitty resolution. The whole "Oh look, the new guy was an impostor all along" bit is kinda worn out, dontchya think? AND THEN, it gets worse! Mad-Eye pops up in the later books, and we're (the readers) supposed to be all like "YAY! Mad-Eye! I remember him!" BUT WE DON'T BECAUSE WE NEVER ACTUALLY KNEW HIM! We just knew that douchy little Barty Crouch Junior ACTING like Mad-Eye. But what is kinda sad about all of this is that the first time I read the book, I was totally shocked by the ending. Every time. And at the beginning of every book, I'd be like "OMG YAY A NEW DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS TEACHER SHE'LL BE AROUND FOR ALL THE REST OF THE BOOKS NOW YAY =D =D =D" and each time my friends (the voice in my head/my mom/my cats/ whoever) would be like "..... mmmmm.... yeah.... but remember, that job is cursed, isn't it? Meaning no teacher can ever last more than a year? and I'd be all like ".....PFFFFF! Curse-smursh! I don't believe in curses. YAY NEW TEACHER!!!"

This story exhibits two things about me. The first is that I am a gigantic Harry Potter nerd. I have all 7 books on my ipod and every night for the last three years I've fallen asleep listening to them. on loop. The second is that I often fail to anticipate repeating patterns. Every September I just sit around in shock, unable to believe that I need a jacket in the morning. I am baffled by why the trees are all dying. (Side note- look folks, we get all gushy about foilage in the fall and how beautiful it is and shit, but that's just trees' way of getting in the last word before they kick the bucket. You know how your grandpa was all sick for so long, and then right before he died he got well enough to say goodbye to everyone? Yeah. same thing. ANYway...)

OK, So I was saying I fail to anticipate repeating patterns. I'm a stunning combination of unobservant, self-centered, and optimistic, so I overlook things... well, pretty much constantly. So even though I saw Dark Arts Professor after Dark Arts Professor come and go, with each new one I hopefully assumed this one would be different. And it wasn't. :-) 
What I'm watching should come as no surprise, (except that it cost me $15 more to buy it a month ago!)  but what I'm drinking is a little different than usual.

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